C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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