I bet he comes in French.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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