sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
