i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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