So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
