I just made out with a guy for $7.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
