i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
