ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
