i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
