that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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