When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we're making bets on your personal life
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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