Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she peed on how many people?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
