He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
