I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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