I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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