No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
