Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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