Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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