He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
