Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
