hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
