i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
