ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
