I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
