Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
