i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Say something about gay babies.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
