If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
