my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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