my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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