it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
