You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
