just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
