I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
