I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
