just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
