I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
