I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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