i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
