My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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