Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
