you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
