Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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