Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
