So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
