FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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