You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
