i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
