Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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