its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
