He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
